:: eLise is me ::: December 2007

Monday, December 31, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Thoughts of mine.

Trying as hard as can be to stop myself from ripping open the strawberry Porky (all time favourite at the moment).

I am hungry !

Only had a yoghurt, burger and chai tea frappe for the whole day.

>p

And FYI, I'm not on a diet or any crap behaviour of that nature. Have just been working crazy hours that I'm just too tired to eat. Even fell asleep at my desk just now!

Hur hur hur.

Am such a workaholic that I even dreamt of working!

ROARRRRR ~

Can't wait to go back home and have a grand old relaxing time with my loves. And speaking of which, I busted over 300 bucks on Boxing day sales! Oh my freaking gosh. But I've got all the prezzies for my loves, which is a load off my mind. But then again, there's the thing with luggage excess.

Oh my gosh...

Anyway, I'm missing that silly monster.

Boooooooooooo!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Bollocks to the rules!

Call me stupid, but I hold true to my work ethics.

As long as it's my responsibility, I'll complete it.

It doesn't always have to be about the money.

Cold hard cash?

I'll choose my self and conscience over it any time.

Call me stupid. I don't care.

And I really wanna say...

I'm sorry Pabs.

Friday, December 28, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Blossom

Rocking to The Beatles and embracing that flower child in me.

I'm all about colours and love right now.

Hippie chick being the element.

This is my Summer of Love!

Though I'm not in San Francisco, I'll still rock it my way in Aussie land ~

Thursday, December 27, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Beyond it all.

"Is your friend there?"

"Yeah."

"Get your friend on the phone."

"No."

"Get your friend on the phone."

"No."

"Get your friend on the phone."

"No. She doesn't know. And don't you dare tell anyone!"

"All right. But are you sure you're all right? It's worrying."

"I'm fine. I just want to talk to someone back home."

"Just ignore them. You don't even know them. You don't have to give a damn."

"I know.. Thanks. I'll be fine. Talking to you is good enough."

"Are you sure? Tell me what happened when you're feeling better all right?"

"All right. I'll talk to you again then. Thanks."

In times of need, I can find no one except him.

I take comfort and misery in knowing that.

Comfort that I have someone like him, and misery that I only have him.

That is precisely why I pretend to be a superwoman.

Because there's no one to catch me when I fall.

Monday, December 24, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Merry my foot.

Yet another festive holiday in the foreign land.

You have no idea how badly I wish to go home.

Basking in the warmth, love, joy and laughter of my family and friends.

Once again, I crave some changes. Major ones. But can I handle it? Sometimes, I'm not as grounded as I seem to be. Or wish to be.

Another new year to come. Another unspoken milestone. Another empty canvas. Another brand new slate.

Do I have any wishes?

Perhaps for the world to be quiet more often.

Why do we fight? Why do we kill? Why do we hurt someone else?

Is one person's life more worthy of another?

Does one has more rights to inflict harm to another?

There's no such thing as an idealistic world, but can't we work a little harder to make things a little better?

That abusive customer from last evening makes me wonder about the psychology of a bully. Coupled with the programme on the Serbs in Kosovo last night and the approaching holiday, Elise is not a very festive person right now.

Everything seems a little gloomy and hopeless.

Damn that hippie chick in me.

Regardless, have a Merry Christmas everyone. And a fabulous new year to come.

With lots of love.

xoxo

=)

Monday, December 17, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

On second thought.

I love The Sims because I get to control those beings.
The free-will function is always switched off.
I am in total control.
And I like that.

Therefore at this point in time, I'm not going to loosen my grip and lose control. It's gonna take more than that to disarm me. The defense and independence built up over the years are all I have to keep on trudging through the mud of life. Those times I've fallen and picked myself up. Those times I've lost faith and made it through on sheer determination.

I yearn for a superman to save me, but am I willing to strip off that superwoman armour I've donned on?

Not at this point.
I'm still not ready to be vulnerable.
Perhaps I'll never be ready.

I'm always in this defensive mode and although it wears me out, I'm conditioned to it. It's absence will be confusing and uncomfortable. Yet another comfort zone I've created. It took a lot to leap out from the prior one, and now it's gonna take as much as well.

I need more time.

"The problem is, are you able to let anyone in?"

She is right.

As much as I trust, I distrust.
The double-edged sword, my contradiction.

Total vulnerability of self has never occurred with anyone.
Maybe it never will.

Perhaps I'll never be ready.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

My Profile.

La vie est belle. Faites vos reves venir vrai !

My ultimate goal is to be a Dietician.

Currently NOT in Singapore.

If I don't reply your messages, it's either your messages are boring or you're a damn bad speller.

Snobbish?
I'm not.

I just don't give a fuck.

P.S. Don't bother asking for my MSN or giving me yours, because I don't add randoms to my list.

Snobbish? I guess u r just pretentious.. tts all.

Anyway by NOT being in SG doesn't give u e right to use e magic 4 here. u r just a snooty sweet potato. Oops. its not standard ENGLISH so i bet u can't understand.. hahah.
Spelling Queen.

Lastly but most importantly, before u become a dietician, maybe u would wana watch ur own diet first. Just a piece of kind advice.

Speaking in defense of yourself from someone like me who'll probably not respond to you because you can't get over the most conventional "Hi can we be friends?" messages? Do I ought to apologise for unintentionally ripping apart your wounded self esteem? I guess not. I've done nothing wrong, and you don't deserve any.

And there's absolutely no need in clarifying about whatever's written in my profile to you, someone who will never understand anything because they don't have morons messaging them all the time about wanting to meet up and leaving their cell phone numbers. How typical. I'll have to surrender to that sad fact don't I?

And so it's a sad fact as well that there are people out there who just prefer standard classic proper English to lingos, with no intention or what so ever to demean the linguistic culture of someone else's.

And obviously, if everyone shall heed your advice on whether or not they should watch their diet, I guess we'll all be anorexics. Typical twisted perception of yours, as dictated by the media on what is acceptable and what is not.

Just what is wrong with the world, with people like you who make unnecessary inferences on what others wrote, and in trying to dictate one's way of life? Do you think you're Hitler or Stalin? This is the 21st century dude. Not the bloody Soviet Union of the 1920s.

Ain't gonna stoop to your level and hand you any piece of "kind advice".

I guess I have to get used to this don't I?

And do you now know why I've changed to be a rude bitch to people?

It's only because they deserve it.

I really miss my loves who understand and know the real me, and my true intentions.

It hurts to fight alone.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Perhaps it's time.

To let go and be taken care of for once.

It's been a long time coming.

Loosen my grip without losing myself.

I'll learn to be loved.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

So what will it be?

The soul mate, the stability or the flutters?

Saturday, December 08, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Gone with the Wind

Lost all my pictures, music, assignments, files and documents due to a backup attempt gone wrong.

No more entries on Melbourne trip, Taiwan trip, 21st birthday bash, VicPark Christmas carnival and anything else.

No more pictures of my family, friends and myself.

No more of my favourite music.
Maroon 5, Snow Patrol, Pink, Christina Aguilera, John Mayer.

No more of my first ever media assignment done during my media stopover during TEP.

No more of those treasured conversations.

Mourning the lost of all those incredible memories.

All that's left is those that remain in my mind.

A brand new start.