:: eLise is me ::: On second thought.

Monday, December 17, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

On second thought.

I love The Sims because I get to control those beings.
The free-will function is always switched off.
I am in total control.
And I like that.

Therefore at this point in time, I'm not going to loosen my grip and lose control. It's gonna take more than that to disarm me. The defense and independence built up over the years are all I have to keep on trudging through the mud of life. Those times I've fallen and picked myself up. Those times I've lost faith and made it through on sheer determination.

I yearn for a superman to save me, but am I willing to strip off that superwoman armour I've donned on?

Not at this point.
I'm still not ready to be vulnerable.
Perhaps I'll never be ready.

I'm always in this defensive mode and although it wears me out, I'm conditioned to it. It's absence will be confusing and uncomfortable. Yet another comfort zone I've created. It took a lot to leap out from the prior one, and now it's gonna take as much as well.

I need more time.

"The problem is, are you able to let anyone in?"

She is right.

As much as I trust, I distrust.
The double-edged sword, my contradiction.

Total vulnerability of self has never occurred with anyone.
Maybe it never will.

Perhaps I'll never be ready.

All about

: elise :

Jack (or is it Jane?) of all trades,
(almost!)

but Master of none.
(trying to!)

This is my paradise, where I indulge my senses grandiloquently.

A collective effort to keep family & friends updated, and for random strangers to pop by.

I wanted to put a HUGE picture of myself in this space, but being the technologically challenged person that I am, I can't figure out the mojo of it.

So I guess I'll just have to make do with scattering loads of random self-shots all over the blog!

: xoxo :

Hugs & Kisses

: xoxo :

: blabbers :

Gallery of

: memoirs :

Ending

: credits :

Inspired by:

JUICE & Undying Love

Edited by:

Yours Truly... Elise Tan