:: eLise is me ::: November 2007

Saturday, November 24, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Ouchie

Was still wondering why my left eye lid hurts and have been feeling nothing on it for the past 2 days.

Touched it again just now and felt a gash on it.

I slashed my eye lid without realising it!

What the hell?!

Stupidity and beyond.

Damn it.

Anyway, have been sleeping loads for the past one week. Sort of a compensation for myself.

Excuses, excuses.
Tsk tsk.

=p

Will get down to business with my backlogged entries starting next week.

Be patient my darlings!

=D

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Yet another.

A friend said he spotted me earlier this year and now a stranger said he spotted me twice, in Singapore.

When all along I'm in Australia, having not gone back at all since I left in November '06.

So now I'm officially a common face.

And I don't like that.

I much rather be delusional and hold the notion that I'm unique. Not just in personality.

Pfft.

Monday, November 12, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

6 in the morning.

Incessant noise of the fan in the background, with notes tossed all over the bed and table.

Morning light breaking, with the minutes ticking away.

6.15am.

Human biology paper just 3 hours away, with an internet tab labelled "ear".

Snoozed from 9pm to 1am, in fear of falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning.

Missed CSI: NY.

6 more hours before the sigh of relief.

4 more days before complete liberty.

2 more months before home sweet home.

Wondering about him.

Stupid porcupine head.

In the sweetest sense of course.

Silly grin on her face.

Time to go back to the "ear".

The real world.

Stupid warm weather.

Summer once again.

6.30am.

Friday, November 09, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Obviously

I'm going through a phase, being all emotional and a little nut in the mental department. Taken a liking to being all spaced out in the room and avoiding all human interaction as best as I can.

It is the same trigger again, but having survived it previously, I know I will pull through again. Just have to give myself a little more time and space.

There's so much anger in me and I have no where to displace them. Which results in me being a total rude ass bitch, lashing out at everyone who I perceive as being even slightly remotely deserving of such treatment.

I wish I could just push all the blame to you, but what good would that do for the situation? You say you'll let me be and support my decision, but at the same time unwittingly say you need me. That phrase is my kryptonite and has always been the one thing which I can never get over. It makes everything so much more complicated.

People has been telling me to look beyond that and do what my heart says is the right thing, but it is so darn hard to get over myself. How do I be that selfish and heartless, be blind and turn my back to you.

I can never do that.

Perhaps I'm concocting my own poison and submitting myself to this crazy internal torture. Perhaps I'm channeling my anger at you towards myself.

Whatever it is, I just have to get over it.

No matter how hard, because I'm a tough cookie.

I won't let you get to me. It's just temporary.

There might be a broken bisque doll inside, but she's a healer.

Friday, November 02, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

Lately . . .

I've been ruining everything. That nonchalant complacence which shrouds, with no sense of urgency beholding, and no sense of regret overhanging any decisions.

Just a deep grounded sense of calmness. Perhaps with a tinge of nostalgia sneaking its way into the oasis once in a while.

The endless tossing and turning through consecutive nights, accompanied by some long forgotten memories.

If only it could be recalled.

That vivid dream of running through the hospital, frantically in search of the ward. The scene of looking at the injuries and conditions, the shattering of the heart. The forcefully held back tears, choking the entire being.

The intense replay of the first contact, the terror of losing something precious.

That crazy crazy dream which haunts the soul.
Replayed over and over and over.

A cold so deep it chills the bones.

Running, running.

Trying to hide, trying to escape.

That artificial oasis.

The diamond dew which greets the break of dawn.

Running, running.

All about

: elise :

Jack (or is it Jane?) of all trades,
(almost!)

but Master of none.
(trying to!)

This is my paradise, where I indulge my senses grandiloquently.

A collective effort to keep family & friends updated, and for random strangers to pop by.

I wanted to put a HUGE picture of myself in this space, but being the technologically challenged person that I am, I can't figure out the mojo of it.

So I guess I'll just have to make do with scattering loads of random self-shots all over the blog!

: xoxo :

Hugs & Kisses

: xoxo :

: blabbers :

Gallery of

: memoirs :

Ending

: credits :

Inspired by:

JUICE & Undying Love

Edited by:

Yours Truly... Elise Tan