:: eLise is me ::: November 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

random gibberish

The biggest surprise of the week is . . .
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I'm actually good at Maths ! ! !

Oh just indulge me ok?
Hahaha!

I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths
I'm good at Maths

Ok.
I'm done.
Hee!

Well on to other meaningless gibberish.

I might after all, be only spending a year in Australia. Provided I manage to get into NUS in 2008.
So I'll let you all know about it in a year's time!
Ahh... Still a long way to go yeah.

Hahaha.

I'll be moving into the student hostel tomorrow.
Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow!

TOMORROW!

Anyway, Aunt Joyce and family are flying off to Melbourne tonight. They're off for a 12 days vacation.

WHY NOT PERTH???!!!
WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY ? ? ? ? ?

Because it's really boring here. That's why!
LOL.

Yes yes yes.
I'm rather hyper today.
Oh wait. I'm not.

I'M EXTREMELY HYPER ! ! !

Hohoho . . .

I'M GOOD AT MATHS!

Lalalalalalala ~

: xoxo :

Monday, November 27, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

. . .

He's taking a shower in the washroom on the 1st storey, while I'm in my bedroom on the 2nd storey.
And I can hear him singing away, from my bedroom window.

I seriously don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Hopefully I don't laugh till I cry.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

DEATH ! ! !

I'm having the WORST headache right now. And my stupid nose is running non stop. And my eye balls feel like they're gonna POP out soon.

I see a few options before me.

Hit my head against the wall till the headache stops
Stuff gazillion pieces of tissue up my nose so that it'll stop running
Scream at my stupid eye balls and ask them NOT to pop out
Stuff myself silly with ice cream, cookies, and whatever is morally sinful
Cry like a baby

Bloody fwat!!!

I'm just gonna do all!
I'm gonna stuff all the tissue I can find in the room up my nose, and hit my head against the wall till the damn headache goes away or I faint (which ever comes first), and scream at nobody cos I feel like doing so, and cry & blabber like a damn baby, and go to bed!

I'll stuff myself silly when I wake up. POOF!

Or maybe I should just CHOP off my bloody head!

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE YOU! YOU STUPID HEAD!

: UPDATE :
8.40pm

Feeling highly sedated now due to the miracle drug panadol. I feel like sleeping. Still having a mild headache but at least my nose isn't functioning that much now. My eye balls have stopped their rioting but are still throbbing nevertheless.

Waiting for my stomach to do its mojo on my dinner so that I can go have some chocolate pudding and then hop into bed.

And damn those politicians. Perth is gonna have daylight saving. ROAR!
Now I have to take note of when to adjust my clock so that I don't end up going to school an hour later. ROAR!
And that means I have to get up an hour earlier. Double ROAR!

Homestay lady explained the purpose of daylight saving, but I still don't see the use of it. So what if you have longer or shorter hours of daylight? The 24 hours a day rule still isn't gonna change.
And so the point is . . . ?

Anyway, I couldn't be bothered. They can mess up my sense of timing all they want. I'm too sedated to scream and thrash right now. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.

Aahhh . . .
Chocolate pudding.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Worlds apart.

I've never been in a long distance relationship before, thus this is a really foreign territory to me.
And I can't help but to wonder, how do couples maintain their love?

Granted, I don't have that many friends who have/had LDR.
And thus my knowledge of it through hearsay is not very plentiful. But one thing I know for sure though, it is TOUGH.

Saw something today and this just got me thinking.
I am so fortunate to not have this extra baggage to bring over with me.
At least I know I'm not giving myself a chance to screw up the other person (and vice versa).

Ever heard of how some couples adopt the "I'm ok with you seeing someone else" mantra?
Seriously, how do they manage to do it?
I'm sure there's a jealous bug in everyone. And I guess this boils down to TRUST?
It is ok to see someone else, but not ok to fall for that someone else.
Sounds like "It is ok to cheat physically, but not ok to cheat emotionally" to me.

Goodness!
I really do wonder how this whole hocus pocus goes.

And why am I talking about this?
Cos I was reading someone's blog and he commented that "long-distance relationships almost never ever end well. pessimist. yeap. but realist upon closer inspection."
And as I mentioned earlier that I saw something today. Let's just leave it at, me seeing a friend holding hands with someone else, and for a fact that I know my friend has another half back in Singapore. Adding this and that together, you should get the gist of it.
(FYI, I would have NEVER thought my friend will do something like that. But then again, what do I know? Nothing!)

Oh well, shall not crack my skull over it anymore.
It'll just be another mystery which might never be solved in my lifetime.
But one thing for sure, I'm glad I don't have this extra responsibility.

Singleton is great.
You get to ogle around as and when you like, you get to have mini crushes on anyone you fancy (and it's morally legal!), and not to mention date hopping & keeping your options open.

And with this in mind, my dear friends, I might have to disappoint you people with the possible fact that I might not be bringing back an "ang-moh" boyfriend.

But then again, who knows what will happen?
Maybe I'll meet a Seth Cohen look-alike tomorrow and anything goes from there.
Hahaha!

La vie est Belle <>

random writings

SLAP

"How dare you."
She spoke through clenched teeth, her jaw in a tight lock.

Seeing her quivering lips and tear filled eyes, a pierce went right through his heart, down to the centre of his soul. The burning sting on his cheek is nothing compared to that. He felt a part of him died.

Stepping forward, he brought her into his arms and closed his eyes to feel her being in his embrace.
"I'm sorry."

The grip in her fists disappeared, and the first drop of tears slides down her cheek.

He felt her form softened, and soon she was shaking.
And that is when he knew he will never hurt her again.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

the kiddish game

Let's go back to the beginning.
Shall we?

There's no denying that things got complicated somewhere along the line.
Like a complication occurring during an open heart surgery.
Ever so fragile a situation, and such membrane between surviving and flatlining.

Something valuable, something heartwarming.
Like the gold in a pirate's chest.

It can't be considered having come a long way, as it only began not long ago.
The beginning of something beautiful, wonderful, enriching and fulfilling.
The blossom of a tender seed.
The rising of the morning sun.

Agreeing to come to term, and to make peace with the situation, shows how valuable and important this is.

Do you think and feel the same?

And so once more I ask . . .

Let's go back to the beginning.
And instead this time . . .

Can we?

Let's pretend to play pretense. And pretend that we're not in pretense.

Monday, November 20, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

jibberish

I felt weird and out of place.
This environment is something I've went through 4 years ago.
And now at 4 years later, I'm back to it.

I no longer have lectures.
I now have C-L-A-S-S-E-S.

I no longer have tutorials.
I now have H-O-M-E-W-O-R-K.

It just feels not-so-right.
Having being mercilessly thrown into the no-more-spoonfeeding-cos-ur-an-adult-now way of environment when I started Poly 3 years ago, it took me some time to get used to it. It was so different that me and my friends actually contemplated quitting.
Gosh! We are SO spoilt I tell ya.

But after getting used to it and having gone through it religiously (and actually loving it) for 3 years, I'm now being stripped of it and thrown back to a more "backwards" system.
And not to mention that the people around me are at the young tender age of 16-17. And ignoring the fact that I'm the only Singaporean in class.
Granted, there is a guy who's older than me. But who cares how he feels? It's all about me right now people.
ME ME ME.

Aww...
Just let me whine alrighty.

Another thing that made me feel oh so misfit, is that it seems like I'm the only one who knows clearly definitely of what I want.
We were asked to fill in this personal detail form at Maths today and when asked what Maths we intend to pursue in 2007 (calculus, A maths, D maths, unsure), I'm the only one with an answer. The others were all "unsure".
For the love of sesame!

And during Biology, I'm the only person who knows for sure that I'll be taking up Biology in 2007. The others were unsure. The same applies for Chemistry.

I'm clear of my purpose here.
I'm clear of what I want.
When given something, I tackle it head on.
When asked something, I give a definite answer.
I'm confident, friendly, outgoing, and chatty.

But why do I feel so weird deep down?
Maybe I should pretend to be unsure.
Maybe I should "act blur".

Aww...
I don't know.

And where is precious when I wanna talk to him?

Well let's move on to the lighter side of school.

English is definitely the coolest subject ever! I just looovve the way Mr Bailey teaches. He reminds me of my oh-so-lovely Literature teach, Mr Latiff.
Its so engaging, so entertaining, and oh-so-funny! (satire, emotive language, alliteration, personification and yadah yadah)
And I learnt a different "kiss" today.
Keep It Simple Sweetheart!

For a moment there, I was so tempted to take up English for my degree. But oh well, I'm sure not all teach is like Bailey or Latiff.
So no thanks.
English can become an extremely boring & dry subject if the teach is from Borington.
*yawn*

The other subject on my fave list is Biology. Though we only touched on the basic Chemistry aspect of it today (lipid, proteins, ion bonding, covalent bonding, pH values, atoms & molecules, cells, Nadium, Kalium, Felium), I have a vibe that I'll come to love it. And perhaps Chemistry too.

And as for Maths, nothing much to comment about.
Cos the only thing we did today was the form and a 15 minutes test. Which is all algebra for goodness gracious sake! My worst nemesis ! ! !
I developed a hate-you-so-truly-madly-deeply relationship with algebra way back in Primary school.
So imagine the horror when I saw it today. I had to crack my skull to think back of the rules and stuff.

And as for my I-once-scored-so-well-for-it Physics, I realised everything's all dumped somewhere in the deepest recess of my memory cos I can't remember a single shiat about it. I stared at the formulae list and slowly, bits & pieces starts creeping back.
All the mu, velocity, ohm, density, blah blah blah.
The teach is quite a tough nut by the way. Looks like Steven Spielberg (all the uncombed hair and bushy beard), oh-so-serious, and a very bad joker.
The following is what he tried to crack today:

10 power 3 is "kilo"
10 power 6 is "mega"
10 power 9 is "giga"
10 power 12 is "tera"

What do you get when you have 10 power 12 of bulls?

.
.
.
.
.

You get terrible! (tera bulls)

Not funny at all.
*SMACK*

So should Physics & Chemistry be 2 seperate subjects in 2007, I will definitely not take up Physics.
Horror of all horror!
I'll love to retain that warm fuzzy cuddly memory of Physics in my mind forever.
Thank you very much.

Okie dokey.
Gonna go get my h.o.m.e.w.o.r.k done.
Bye !

(no "xoxo" today cos i need them all to myself)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

mumble jumble

Ohh . . .
Classes are starting tomorrow and I'll be having all 5 subs.
Starting at 8.45am and ending at 4.45pm. So you can just imagine how many breaks I'll be having in between.
But oh well, I reckon it'll be socialising hours.
Equates to loads of chit-chat!
Muahaha!

Skyped with mummy & lil' bro last night and mummy asked why didn't I bring over her Christmas present.
Mind you, it's a stuffed doggy that is at least the length of my upper body (head to waist)! How am I supposed to bring it over?

"You could have hugged it over."

. . . . . . . . .
That's my mummy ya'll.
And she said she's gonna bring it over when she visits.
(-_-")

But maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
I've always wanted a cuddly huggable stuffed toy which I can bring around (stuff it in my bag when I go out, and to my bed).
But granted, green tea (i named it as such cos it smells like it) is definitely not what I'll define as cuddly huggable to bring around. Maybe to bring to bed that is.

And speaking of bringing stuffed toys to bed, I have this childish habit of tucking them in with my blanket and making sure they have space to sleep in.
Luckily I've only got 1 or 2 which I bring to bed. If not, I would be sleeping on the floor.
And did I mention that I greet them good night, along with a kiss?
Sometimes I do behave like a 5 year old.
*sheepish grin*

Anyway, I think the weather is getting to me.
I've always been VERY prone to having cold feet and hands, and with the temperature here being on the low in general (especially at night!), I'm having freezing limbs for much of the day.
Adding on runny nose & throbbing headache, I'm starting to feel slightly cranky. And I forgot to bring my flu tablets over. I was reminded to do so but it slipped my mind.
*slaps forehead*

And geez! I was staring at my feet in the afternoon (don't ask why) and realised they were abit blue. I didn't know they could do that. I've seen my hands turn blue before, but never my feet!
So being the dorky person I am, I'm wearing warmers and gloves now.
Hahaha. What a sight. Hopefully nobody catches me in them.

Oh well, I'm gonna go tuck myself into bed now under the thick thick blankie!
I'm freezing my limbs off right now.

So good night to ya'll!
And a humongous . . .

: xoxo :

Saturday, November 18, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Elise needs company.

Went for my orientation yesterday and all went well.
Met people from Hong Kong, Malaysia, Brunei, Jakarta & Zimbabwe.

School will be starting on Monday and the first lesson is A Maths. And know what's bad? There's gonna be a test! Like what?!
(@_@)

My timetable for the coming 2 months is quite a darling. Only 12 hours a week. But I wonder how it'll be when the official program starts. Definitely gonna be longer hours.

And yeah, my timetable is kind of messed up too. Kind of similar to my Poly days. 1 hour lesson in the morning, followed by 3-4 hours break, and then 1 last hour of lesson.

Ahh...
Better utilise those breaks effectively.
Hahaha!

And after having being in Perth for almost a week, I finally got myself a local cell line. There's 10 digits! I didn't bother to memorise it. Hee.

Anyway, I'm starting to feel bouts of home sickness. Very minor ones, but not a very good feeling nevertheless.

Usually happens at night. When I'm about to go to bed.
Starts feeling very sad and wants to just dump everything aside and fly home.

Finished a box of chocolates in 2 days and now I feel like having McDee.
Haha! I'm gonna turn into a fatso soon!

Having finally gotten internet connection and being able to chat with my friends on MSN really makes it so much better. Feels just like I'm back in Singapore and at home, chatting on MSN. I guess doing the usual common activity put me more at ease.

The night before, I dreamt of Cheryl, Farhana & me shopping and when I woke up, I realised I'm in Perth. Damn it.
And today when I woke up, for a moment there, I thought I was back in Singapore. Until I heard people talking in the garden below, the Australian accent. Damn it.

Haha . . .

Have been cooping myself in the room since I woke up and home-mother just came up to check on me. She thought I was sick cos she hasn't seen me around for breakfast, lunch and tea.
Oh well, better go grab a bite soon.

Anyway, now I feel like crying.
But oh well, I'll be fine. Knowing what a looney head I am, it'll pass.
Haha.

And to dear Kerlyn & Jerome, please don't worry about me. I'll be fine I swear!
Not gonna go all depressed again. Once bitten, twice shy.
(^_*)

By the way, I think I'm getting tanned.
Argh. I hope I don't start getting freckles on my face.
*slaps sunscreen on myself*

Hahaha.
I'm such nonsense.

Friday, November 17, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

New Add-on

To all my lovelies & beloved . . .

I've added a Shoutbox so that you peeps can leave your notes or thoughts. We can even communicate with it!

Do leave me a shout-out alrighty?
Take care peeps!

Miss ya people loads ! ! !

Hugs & Kisses
: xoxo :

P.S. I've settled into my homestay and has loads of pictures. But gotta get a bluetooth toggle first. Should have just took mine over instead of leaving to my bro. (>_<)

Saturday, November 11, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Cold Cold Breeze

Hey darlings . . .

I've arrived in Perth !

Currently my first day has been great and I'm doing great too.
Will write more when I've settle in to my homestay.
Which will be in another week?

Anyway, here's a shoutout to my lovelies who came and send me off at the airport.
Thank you guys so much for coming and I really appreciates it loads!
I love the prezzies to bits and it's definitely the coolest gift!
Hee!

And to my dear friend . . .
How I wish I could see you with my own two eyes to ascertain that you're alright.
But I'm unable to do so. I hope you get my voice messages.
Take the greatest care and rest well alright?
Be well real soon and get in touch with me ok?
Love you too.

Ok. Gotta go now. Using the per minute internet service in the hotel.
Will update again real soon!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

A little too late.

OH MY GOODNESS ! ! !

I just received a Letter of Offer from University of Adelaide for the Bachelor of Science program!
There's no way I can accept it anyway.
Cos I'm going to Perth.

Wahaha.!
Took them long enough to get back to me.
I applied with Adelaide way before I applied for WAUFP.

Tsk tsk.
I can only say . . .

It's all fated darling.

By the way, haven't been updating recently cos I'm real busy with lots of stuff.
But there's pictures and I'll update real soon.
Like now?

Saturday, November 04, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Everything's gonna be alright.

"You have to learn to open up and not keep everything to yourself. Talk to somebody. Writing a blog is good too. Just remember, try not to handle and shoulder everything by yourself. I don't want you to go down the depression path again. Promise me to talk to someone if you have problems alright?"

It isn't my desire to not talk to others about what's bothering me.
It isn't my desire to say "I'm ok" when I'm not.
It isn't my desire to cry alone in the dark.
It isn't my desire to be a strong girl.
It isn't my desire to be invincible.

I have to be strong because I have to.
I have to be strong because I need to.

I am proud of who I've become today, and how I turn out to be today.
I haven't had the best of everything in my younger days.
I haven't had a very happy childhood to think back to.

I had to deal with crap when I was 13. And at that age, I'm supposed to be a carefree teenager, having the time of her life. But it's ok, I don't blame anyone. Though I used to push all the blame to myself, I've learnt to let it go.

I've been through real depression, whereby I hurt myself physically, and even had my own suicide planned. I've gone through laughing heartily one moment, and crying hysterically the next.
I've slammed the door at everyone, flipped the table, and cursed my own family in their faces telling them I'll be better off if they all just die. I've hid myself in my closet crying, feeling the whole world has abandoned me.

But I turn out just fine, and became stronger than before.
To be honest, I am surprised at how strong I am. Though I still do get affected by stuff, but at least now I know how to handle them.
I recover faster than before, and I can even appear unaffected, but am actually dealing with it silently.

I would not have been able to pull through all these if I haven't had friends who are always there for me, and most importantly, a family who didn't give up on me.

My friends could have jolly well thrown me aside saying,
"She's a crazy bitch. Let her deal with her own problems."

My family could have jolly well gave up on me saying,
"She's hopeless. This is what we get by trying to help. Forget it."

But they didn't.

My family never knew I had depression. And I've never told them about it.
They would have never guessed I wanted to kill myself, until they see me dead.
But I'm glad I didn't.

I'm glad I didn't.

So many beautiful things have happened to me since then, and I cherish them even more. I've learnt to show my appreciations. Cos I never know when I'm gonna lose it. This is the beauty of it.

I've always believed that nobody can't do without anybody.
We came into the world alone, acquiring lots of stuff. But when we leave, we leave alone.
We've been doing fine all the while before anyone comes into our life. Our life becomes so much better when that someone comes into it, but we will still survive when that someone leaves our life.

No doubt it is gonna be extremely heartbroken and painful to deal with.
But why not take a step back and look at the whole picture? You will see another side of it. You will see the better side of it.
I've been there, done that. And now I'm good.

When something drastic happens, I allow myself to just crumble and fall. I become stagnant in broken pieces and do nothing but drown myself in self-pity.
But I set a deadline for myself. Once the period is up, I whipped myself into shape again. No matter how hard it is, no matter how many times I relapsed into crumbling and feeling like a total complete ultimate loser, I still make sure I snapped outta it.

People have asked me how I manage to do all these. And honestly, I don't know how I did it. I guess I'm just really lucky to have a really strong and tough inner soul.

I'm sharing what I've gone through, and how I pulled through, cos I want you guys to know that nothing is impossible or too tough to handle. If you feel overwhelmed, reach out your hand and ask for help. Someone will definitely give you that lift of faith you need.

I don't deny I'm still practising asking for help. But I've come so far.

So please do not, DO NOT give up. For one, I am here for you.
It is tough right now, and you really wanna give up all.
But you WILL pull through my friend.
You will pull through.

Cos for one, I will not let you fall.
Even if I have to drag you to your feet.

Just promise you won't give up alright?
Everything's gonna be fine.

P.S. My blog is evident of all the shiats and rainbows I've gone through. So this is not those typical "perfect preach" entry which hasn't been practiced. Been there, done that. If I can do it, why can't you?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Saying Goodbye for the moment.

To those of you whom I've yet to inform . . .

I'm leaving for Perth for studies.

I'll be flying off on 11 November, Saturday, on the 1.15am flight. Which means I'll be checking in to the airport on Friday night.

This actually means that there'll not be any sending off as the time is too ridiculous, and even if you guys wanna come, I'll prefer for all of you to have your beauty sleep and not waste the money cabbing home.

I appreciates the effort and thoughts, my loves.
To be honest, part of me didn't wanna deal with the whole you're-leaving-and-i'm-so-gonna-miss-you-what-am-i-suppose-to-do situation. And I also don't wanna face the whole parting and farewell of i-hug-you-you-hug-me-i-cry-you-cry-i-don't-wanna-leave-anymore situation.

I'm a coward! I admit that.
Right now I'm already having the itsy bitsy emotion of not wanting to leave. But I know I have to. Cos it's something I want.

And to those who say to me:

"I love you and so I want you to go pursue your dream. I'll definitely miss you but I'm gonna be so proud of you."

You know who you are. Thank you guys so much. Really really do. It meant so much to me. It's gonna be my motivation. Should I feel like giving up, I'll definitely think of it. Thank you so much!

Enough of all these heartfelt stuff, or I'm gonna start gushing like a tap. Haha.
And now on to the technical part.

I'm joining Canning College to do the Western Australia Universities' Foundation Program (WAUFP) which is of 1 year's duration. I'm taking up WAUFP as I'm changing my course of studies to Health/Life Science and I don't have a Science background.

I'll be taking up 5 subjects:
English Language and Australian Cultural Studies (ELACS), Human Biology, Chemistry, Physics & A Maths.

Attaining a satisfactory pass in the program will give me entry into any of the 4 Western Australia Universities (Curtin, Edith Cowan, Murdoch & UWA). I can also apply to Universities in other states, provided I meet their requirements. So that means I might not be forever in Perth.

And judging by the course I'm intending to pursue, I'll be looking at a few Universities across the states. I'm not intending to reveal what is the exact degree I intend to pursue, at this moment. Only a few close friends know about it.

Anyway, the current plan is to be in Perth for a year. And depending on the degree course I get into, my duration in Australia will vary.

And that's about all for now I guess.
Gonna go pack my stuff.

P.S. To friends whom I don't have you in my MSN, do let me know your email adds. Or you can add me in Friendster. Keep in contact please..! =)