:: eLise is me ::: September 2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Happy Birthday to You

I guess it is true that I will never ever forget you.

You've left an impression in my heart that's not gonna go away.
The memories will stay for as long as I can remember.

I'm happy for you now.
No matter where you are, what you're doing, and who you're with.
I really am.

Please be happy and have the best in your life.

Even if we're never ever gonna see each other again, I'm real glad that you came into my life.
I'm real glad that I once held your hands.
I'm real glad that I once heard your voice.

Happy 20th Birthday to you.

=)

Friday, September 29, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Secret de mon Coeur

Je commence à tomber pour vous.
Mais ceci, vous ne saurez jamais.

Je ne souhaite pas détruire l'amitié.
Ainsi laissez-le de cette façon.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Choice

"We can't choose"

You're right.
We can't choose when it concerns our heart.

But we can choose when it concerns our mind.

The age old dilemma of listening to which.
The heart or the mind?

I cannot control my heart from making the decision it makes.

But I can control my mind to overrule the heart.
To overwrite the heart's decision.

And yet, am I able to do it?

My heart tells me to let it all out.
But my mind says otherwise.

It is so easy to tell you the truth.
But the truth is, can we handle it in the end?

I was so afraid.
I was trembling, and my heart was palpitating.

I was so close to telling you everything.

My heart says to follow my feeling and to do what's right.
So that I will not live to regret in future.
To regret over not giving a chance.
To regret over not trying.

My mind says to follow my rationale and to do what's right.
So that I will not mess things up.
To destroy what is ever so fragile.
To expose all of myself to you.

I have been vulnerable enough in front of you.
I have never ever open up myself this much to anyone.

I've always been the tough cookie.
Defensive, independent, sarcastic, couldn't-care-less, dry-as-sandpaper.

It's been this way for years.
And it's frightening to think of having to give up my fortress of shield which I built up painstakingly over the years.

I can never read your mind.
I can never guess what you're thinking of.
I can never slip into your heart and mind.
Cos I am not you afterall.

By telling the truth, I am opening myself to hurt.
Disappointment, rejection, failure, rubble.

The courageous Elise will fight for what's right and to live life with no regrets.

The cowardly Elise will rather overrule her heart to protect what there is, than to risk destroying it all.

I am still learning to tame the cowardly me, and to free the courageous one.
I am still learning.

So perhaps I shall just be the cowardly me for now, and to hide the truth from you.
Till the day I learn to set free the courageous me.

Maybe then I'll let you know.

Maybe . . .

And yet,
it could be too late.

Love,
like you've never been hurt.

How easy it sounds, but how hard indeed to do.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Never Ever Been . . .

Love,
like you've never been hurt.

Dance,
like no one's watching.

Sing,
like nobody's listening.

Work,
like you don't need the money.

Live,
like everyday is your last.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Stepping back into Chaos.

Monday, September 18, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Adios

From the show "My Name Is Kim Sam Soon".

The body says to the heart,
"When I'm hurt, I have the doctor to heal me. But when you're hurt, who heals you?"

The heart says.
"I heal myself."

There are many ways people heal themselves.
Drinking, screaming, crying, being angry, going on a binge etc.

I heal myself by baking early in the morning.
Because the sweet aroma soothes my pain.

I'll be going away for the next 1 week. Maybe 2.
I'm hiding myself from the world, to heal my heart.

I won't be blogging during this period.
I won't be sharing my thoughts for this period.

My way of healing my heart is by crying.
And so I hope I'll be able to use up all my tears so that the hurting will stop.

I will try my best to heal whatever I can heal, and I will try my best to forget those that I cannot heal.

So take care my loves. And have the best week ahead.

You can still get me through my cell but I won't be meeting anyone.

*big hug to all*

P.S.
Please don't ask me about it. Just don't. I really appreciates that.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Birthday - Poly forever

Met up with Cheryl, JY & WH last night in town for a movie.
Caught Pulse.

It's about how all the advancement of technology in our world starts turning bad & evil.
Rather scary. But mostly the sound effects.

Dropped by NYDC before the show as we had 3 hours to crash.
We bought the 3.15am show!

LOL.

Cheryl surprised me when my Solid Gold came with a candle on top!

Oh man. You guys are so sweet!
I am so so blessed!

Hee!

Hey guys, take care alrighty.
Who knows when are we gonna meet up again.

With WH serving the nation, meeting up will be tough I guess.

Anyway, will definitely miss you guys!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Birthday - Surprise Call

Received a missed call from an unknown number in the afternoon.
Had no idea who was that and thus, didn't bother to call back.

And just when I was prepping just now, to go out and meet the poly gang later on, the unknown number called again.

"Hello, Ee Fei?"
"Yeah. Hello."
"Do you know who I am?"
"Ehh. Nope."
"Wei Jian lah!"
"Oh! Haha."
"You changed your number?"
"Nope. Using my friend's. I'm at Taiwan now."

! ! !

This is the coolest and sweetest thing that ever happen to me on my birthday.
Honestly.

Dear Wee Kian is in Taiwan due to NS stuff and still remember my birthday!
AAHHHH!

Hee.

I'll be damned if I ever complain that I don't have nice friends.

Thank you loads. A very sweet greeting.

La vie est Belle <>

Birthday - Mummy & the Boys

Spent some quality family time at Swensen's, along with the good old company of good food and funny jokes.

Every year, Mummy never fails to bring us out for a meal during our birthday.
And as usual, she gives me a red packet for good luck.

Throughout the dinner, lil' bro is rather uptight about his cell. Haha.
Waiting for a girl to reply his messages!

And monkey gave him some "tips" on chasing girls.
Like "duh"?

Haha. Funny brothers I have!

Did some shopping after dinner and then dropped by Mummy's for a little while before heading back home.

Hmm . . .

I'm a lucky girl aren't I?

*beams*

La vie est Belle <>

Birthday - With the Guys

Had dinner with CS, Kerlyn & HW at Jurong Point Fish & Co last night.

Dinner was great as usual.
Everything is just great, as long as it's them we're talking about.

Hee!

HW gave me a treat for my birthday.
Thanks!

Loads of laughter, loads of fun.

After dinner, Kerlyn & I tagged along with the guys to meet the others.
Chris, JP & BK.

Couldn't decide on what to do and finally ended up singing.

And the guys gave me a surprise mini party!
Haha.

And Christopher kept asking me to do really weird stuff.
All because it's my 20th birthday.

("-_-)

Haha.

Thank you guys.
It's a fantastic way to pass my 20th birthday.
Nothing fancy, just plain old friends and lots of laughter.

I love it for its simplicity and sweetness, and I love it because it's you guys.

La vie est Belle <>

Birthday - BFF

After watching the Citigems commercial which stars Fiona Xie & Joanne Peh as best friends, Kerlyn & I made a promise that we'll get each other gifts from Citigems when we have the means.

Cos our bond is somewhat similar to that shown in the commercial.
And because we aspire to be like that till the end.

We shares ups and downs.
We shares laughters and tears.
We even made a pact to be each others' bridesmaid.

And on my 20th birthday eve, part of our promise came true.

I'm feeling so touched that I'm on the verge of tearing just writing this.

Thank you Kerlyn.
Thank you for being part of my Life.
Thank you for everything you have done.
Thank you for being the best buddy I ever have.

Thank you.

We met during secondary school years, through our part time job.
I used to dislike her when I first saw her.

But slowly we started to hang out, and by the end of our Sec. 4 years, we became close friends.

We shared the same dreams and goal then, that is to become doctors.
Though we're unable to fulfil that goal, yet it is that similar goal that strengthen the bond between us.

Going through Poly years proves to be a challenge for us.
Even though we are in the same Poly, but we're in different school.
We each made new friends, and we drifted apart due to school schedule.

But still, our friendship is strong enough to pass through the 3 years.

I have never ever forgotten my pact to you, to make you my bridesmaid.
And I will honour it.

In exactly 1 month's time, the 2nd part of our promise will be complete.

I love you Kerlyn.
And may we grow old and grey together.

And I know we will.

Friday, September 15, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Pre-Birthday Celebration

Met up with TL a week before my birthday and went to East Coast Park.
Walked around alot and talked alot.
Really nice and funny.

And yeah, he made me a sandwich.
How sweet!

I truly appreciates it and despite you cutting the tomato the wrong side up, it is still nice and yummy-licious.

And by the way, we saw Ix Shen & Erica Lee with their dog at Coffee Bean.

So after getting some sun and sand, we headed to Marina Square for dinner.

Had Jack's Place (my very first time) and everything's great.

Nice ambience, nice food, nice service, nice company.

Aww . . .

A pretty day spent.

La vie est Belle <>

WHAT ?!

Suddenly, I realised something really disturbing.

That is . . .

I might have missed the last official graduation of my life!

And where am I when the graduation ceremony is going on?

I'm on the airplane coming home.
From my holiday.

(-_-)"

The only graduation ever . . .

Is my Kindergarden graduation.
But I don't remember anything about it.

(-_-)"

Damn it.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

My Lovelies

Met up with my Lovelies in town just now.

Haven't seen them for some time and my oh my.
How much I miss them.

*satisfied grin*

Hey Lovelies, let's do this often ok?

Next time we must have lots of photo madness!

Love you guys.
You're my Lovelies.

*group hug*

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Solution ?

I think I've come up with a plan on how to be totally irresponsible and to abandon everything and leave.

That's provided my basic master plan is granted first.

Feeling very smirk now.

Damn it.

Friday, September 08, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Fleeting moment.

I've always wonder what is it like to just drop everything you have and leave.

Your family.
Your career.
Your love.
Your friends.

Maybe I should try that once in my life.

Afterall, nothing seems to matter anyway.

Why not suffer all the heartache at one go.
It's better than spreading it over your whole life.

Would you prefer a fast death, or a slow and painful one?

Get my point?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Back to Basic

I'll like to go hiking at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve.
And the HSBC Tree Top Walk.

I wanna get back in touch with Mother Nature.

Anybody wanna join me?

The sooner the better!
Cos I'm suffocating from too much urban lifestyle.

Note:
Recently I've been craving outdoor activites. Like cycling, hiking and tennis.
Not interested in movies, eating or shopping.
My oh my. Whatever has happened to me?
But I like! Bollocks to fair complexion and whitening!
I'm crazy!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Beautiful but warm.

I haven't been cutting my hair recently, and that is rather unlike of me.
Ever since I started cutting my hair short (above shoulder length), I've been addicted to it!

Used to hate cutting my hair.
When I'm young, whenever my mum brought me to the hairdresser, I'll end up crying while watching my precious locks being snipped away.
And my crying always gave the hairdresser a scare!
Haha.

Thinking back about it, it's so silly of me!

I got my locks snipped a few months before I started Poly. Many secondary school friends of mine were rather shocked when they saw me for the first time after that. Cos I've always spotted long hair back in those days.

Hmm...

The funny thing is, the reason as to why I went to get my hair cut short was quite a rash decision.
Because the weather was too hot and I simply couldn't tolerate it!

Haha. Funny reason.

And so ever since that fateful day, that fateful decision, I've been going to the hairdresser the moment I couldn't stand the heat.

And recently, I've been battling the inner demon of mine, as to whether or not to cut my hair short again.
I've been wanting to grow my locks so that I can have long hair once again and to play around with it.
But I'm not liking the weather alot. It's getting on my nerves. My hair is practically tied up everyday. And when I'm sleeping, my hair is brushed all the way back onto my pillow.

But seeing all the gorgeous long hair, and seeing cousin Yu Shang's silky long straight locks, I'm so so so envious!
The fact that I'm looking more feminine with long hair isn't helping much.
And the feel of my hair brushing against my bare shoulder isn't helping too much either!
It feels too good!

GOSH!

So does that mean I have to sacrifice comfort for the sake of beauty?

Anyway, I get mixed responses from people. Some people commented that I look better with short hair, while some prefer long hair.

Hiak hiak.
Tsk tsk.

Oh yeah, another funny thing before I go.
When my Poly friends saw my admin card, they were surprised.
I still remember one of them saying

"Elise! You used to sport long hair?"

The way my friend said it was rather funny.
Haha.

And so yeah.
That's just me bloviating about some itsy bitsy matter.
Haha!

Monday, September 04, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Something new !

Hi all!
I'm trying to be more interactive so that you guys can share your thoughts and opinions.
So here goes . . .

Flutters.
Excitement.
Blinding flashes.
Death.

What's the first thing that comes to your mind?
Let loose that literal side of you!

I'll add in my answer into this entry on Wednesday.
So have fun!

It's a moth flying towards the flame of a candle and getting itself burnt.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

I'm feeling sorry for you.

I've had this conclusion for ages but I choose not to believe it.
Cos I choose to believe that you are more than that.

But with more and more facts and evidences coming up, I can't help but to feel that I should stop deluding myself.

Despite the expensive toys you have, the fabulous and exciting lifestyle you have, and the glam and shine you have.

I used to envy you because you are what I am not.
I am actually proud of you cos you turned out so fine.

But when I start discovering the lies you told, I began to think twice.
Are you really what you are?

And just as I'm trying to shake off the thought that you're not what you make yourself out to be, I uncover more truth.

And it is then that I understood the hostility and the lies.

To think that I thought that it was just me and my brain playing tricks on me.

Tsk tsk.

I am right the first time.

You are feeling empty deep down.

I started feeling sorry for you.
But I know you hate that.
So I'll not do so anymore.

You are what you are.

So I'm leaving it up to you.

You can continue with your lies.
You can continue with your pretense.

I will not tear down your front.
I will not confront you with the evidences.
I will not ask "why did you lie to me?"

I just hope that you'll be happy.
And if you feel happier this way, I'll be happy for you.

Cos I love you.
Cos I love you, my friend.
You will always be.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

*SNAP* and the magic is done.

You know how some people just changes overnight?

Well maybe not overnight.
More of within a short window period.

Everything about them changes.

Their lifestyle, the people they hang around with, the way they talk and walk, their mentality.

It's like they just suddenly dropped everything familiar about themselves and just become someone different.

Cool ~

I wonder how they do that.

Friday, September 01, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Identity Crisis

I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't know what I want anymore.

I'm feeling all messed up, neurotic, negative, moody etc.
I actually feel like a LOSER!

It boils down to the fact that I'm turning 20 soon.
Not that it's any big deal but it's just me crossing over to another phrase in life.

And I dislike it!

I'm starting to question my existence, my purpose, my worth, my being, my EVERYTHING!

I don't know if I should continue being who I am or should I be a whole new person.
I've been too good too long and it's wearing me out.
It seems like I should go out, get down and dirty, drink and party, kick people's ass.
But that's not what I want. Yet its calling out to me!

And it doesn't help that I'm in the midst of making a life changing decision.
Something very important to me.
Something I treasure and value.

And it sure doesn't help having people breathing down my neck and imposing their "what-you-should-be-doing-right-now" lectures.

Respect me alright?!
Give my my damn space!

I can't breathe and I'm suffocating.
I'm being tied tight around my neck by leashes of people who think they own a piece of me.

You don't lord me and you certainly don't control me.
I have freewill god damnit!

But this is all temporary and I know it.
I will emerge whole and sorted out.
I will be my stable self again.

I WILL!