Wednesday, August 30, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Mind, Thoughts, Views & Expressions.


I still remember what she said.

"Everyone needs friends. You're not a superwoman so stop keeping everything to yourself and to take on everything yourself. By not talking to your friends, you're depriving them the chance to help you."

I understood what she's trying to say and I appreciates it.

Back then, I was having trouble dealing with trust and asking people for help.
I see myself as the source of every problems.

People who have seen me then would know what a wreak I was turning into.

Farhana, Cheryl, Michelle & Jess.

I can never thank them enough for everything they've done during that period.
No words can express my immense gratitude to them.



I told her that I rather not tell anyone anything because they will sell me out (like a guy did), casting me as a nutcase to others, resulting in abandonment. Or playing me as the victim, gaining sympathy and pity.

I want none of both. I just wanted to be left alone.

And also because I see myself as the source of all problems, I deemed myself as a curse or virus. By telling anyone anything, they will be burdened by me.
I will capsize them.

I want none of it. I just wanted to be left alone.



But now, it's a different story.

I contemplate keeping everything to myself because I feel that no one understands me.
At least not as well as I do myself.

And also, I don't wish to burden anyone. (yes i have to quit thinking this way. am trying to.)

No offense, but I realised that most of them have the same mentality. The kind of mentality being fused into by what the "norm" dictates.

And as of right now, I am trying to escape from that norm.

And by sharing my thoughts, my views, I am getting the constant same replies, advices and lectures.

And that is really not what I need.

Not that I'm being unappreciative. I am actually glad for all the feedbacks.
It's just that, it's not what I need.



There is this one person though.
Who I feel, understands me.

Whenever I feel bothered (an almost constant state i am in recently), or overflowing with joy, that person, is the first person I thought of.

I will always be so tempted to send him a message to share whatever is on my mind at that moment, but will always think twice, and most of the time, ended up not doing so.

Because once again, I don't wish to trouble him.
I don't want to be a pest.
I don't want to cling.

I must admit that I almost gave too much dependency upon him, but pulled myself back at the very last moment.

I see him as a great friend, a confidant, a support.
But he can afterall, do only that much.
He is just a friend.

The rest is dependent upon myself.

My point is that, having found one person who understands and shares the same mentality as me, is a truly rare treasure. Because right now, most people surrounding me have already been sucked into the evil system of the norm.

I'm still outside of it.
And I intend to keep it that way.

What I need is that little encourage and support as the final boost to help me make that leap of faith. It is almost impossible to do it alone.

But I can't seem to find it from around me and even if I do, I can't hold on to that source infinitely and empty it.

So now the only way I see is to walk the almost impossible path.
To depend on myself.

And so I'm trying hard to practice detachment, and of sharing myself with others.

I do not need all the "don't think too much", "it's not gonna work", "you can never do it".

I am not a fugitive and thus I will not run away from my problems and obstacles by not thinking too much.

I am not a pessimist as to believe that it's not gonna work.

I am not a faithless person to think I can never do it.

So please forgive me for choosing to shut myself up.
Be understanding, even if it's hard to comprehend.

If it's gonna work, it's gonna work.
If not, there's always other alternatives.



Sunday, August 27, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Live & Tell


I'm going to start practising the art of keeping everything about myself, to myself.

Don't think I'm going to start telling everyone what I'm doing and how I'm feeling.

Since I have so many slabs of walls at home, I might as well utilize them to the max.

Maybe I'll get greater satisfaction and enjoyment from talking to the walls.

And to start acting like a mysterious lady. All secretive and private.

Privacy people. Privacy.



Saturday, August 26, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


And so . . .


As usual, I'm on one of my reading frenzy now.
Spending the whole day reading books.

From the moment I awake and laze in bed reading, to reading a book in between commercials, to reading a book while the internet browser loads, to lazing in bed reading a book before finally hitting the sack and going to dreamland.

My baby is wondering what am I up to recently, and so here I am telling this precious baby that I'm busy being a bookworm!

Been scribbling alot too, as I'm doing some mini research of mine.

So for this week and the next to come, I will most probably be an intellectual angel.

Or bookworm?

Or Smarty?

Hmm . . .

I prefer being an angel.

Hee !



Wednesday, August 23, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


A poo-py entry




*`~- You've been Warned -~`*




Recently, my metabolism has picked up again.

I'm not even done with my meal and I already feel the "rush".

The healthy thing to do is to go poo poo at least once a day.

But I can do it 2-3 times a day.



Well what do u expect?

I already said it's a poo-py entry.




Monday, August 21, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Conflict



There are times when I wonder what will happen between us should we be given another chance.


Different situation.
Different mentality.
Different maturity.

But I'm really glad and grateful for where we are today.

Being really good friends.




Saturday, August 19, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Whole Day Out.


Met up with mummy dearest, aunts and cousin Annette for lunch at Goodwood Park yesterday. All the adults were busy posing for pictures while Annette & I reluctantly are their photographers.




It’s a real hilarious sight. Cos we behaved like we’re tourists!
(we decided to be from Hong Kong, should anyone ask)

Lunch was good and all.




Hasn’t seen Annette for some time and we had lots to catch up!
Gosh. She is getting prettier!

Went shopping with them ladies after lunch and bought a couple of stuff. My mum went ballistic and went home with 5 pairs of shoes!

Even crazier than me!


I self-declare to be a shoe fanatic but then there's always the Empress Dowager.




HAHA!

Left Orchard around evening and met up with Handso
me Peanut! LOL!




Headed over to Ikea (as always), after having dinner.









Headed over to his place after ikea-ing to drop off his 1.5m mirror before sending me home. Talked about a lot of things and he laughed at me over a lot of things (my 65 points artwork, my primary school photos etc).

You evil guy!
I doubt your artwork is any better.

Haha.

In a nutshell, yesterday was a fantastic day and I love it!




Thursday, August 17, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


The Forever Debate


This entry is steered towards the guys. I’m sure almost every guy had had this dilemma.


To be, or not to be.


That is . . .

Whether to be a Mr. Nice Guy, or not to be.


I’m writing this cos I’m one of those girls who prefer Mr. Nice Guy (let’s put it as MNG), rather than Mr. Bad Guy (MBG).

And so now, what you’re reading is from the point of view of a girl who believes that MNGs does not finishes last. And that NOT ALL girls prefer MBGs.

My sistas and I once had a conversation, or shall I say more like a debate, on this issue with a couple of guys from our class.

There’s a couple of MNGs in my class, and they’ve been trying to get to know more girls, and preferably get a steady girlfriend. But it seems like Lady Luck is not on their side.

Obviously, seeing their MBG friends getting all the chicks, I guess they start to question their own niceness and gentlemanliness.


Introducing . . .

‘A’ - a really nice dude who’s full of gentlemanliness, looks good, had the height, tidy appearance, and sometimes kind of funny.


‘W’ – a really sweet guy who doesn’t mind listening to your problems and sharing his advices or opinions with you. Humorous and gentlemanly. Has passion when it comes to doing things.


‘H’ – a rather quiet guy who plays piano, can sing well, is tall, and full of gentlemanliness. Decent chap.


‘J’ – a decently cute guy who’s funny and doesn’t mind doing favors for others. Very humble and down-to-earth.


‘R’ – a super nice guy who’s smart, good looking, gentlemanly and kind of cool. (not from my class but a friend of mine)


They sound too good to be true? Well they are!

Obviously they have flaws too but who doesn’t?

I, the perfectionist, have a truckload of flaws!


The point is, they see all those MBGs out there having the best time, getting all the chicks, most of the time having chicks throw themselves at them, seemingly having the easy life, cool icon, stands out in the crowds, the star of the parties.

Well all my MNGs aren’t that bad too! The kind of charm they exudes is TOTALLY different from the MBGs!

In case you’re thinking that I’ve only had eyes for MNGs all my life, you’re wrong.

During my secondary school years, I’m crazy over MBGs.

Why?

Because they are like the coolest thing to have. The ‘IN’ thing. The cool boyfriend, the envy of all girls, the heartthrob.

I’m only seen around the MBGs. Hanging out with them.

I’ve got some MNGs coming after me but I’m not interested cos I’m blind. I know they are the diamonds but I prefer the copper then. I’m obsessed with the fame, and being the envy of those who don’t manage to snag a MBG.

They may be the heartthrobs, but they are also the heartbreakers. And being blind, I didn’t see it.

Ended up?

Learning the hard way.

But I’m thankful that I’ve gone through the I-only-love-MBGs-cos-they-are-oh-so-cool stage. Cos if I have not, I would have missed out on all the diamonds around me now!


I categorize girls who dig MBGs into to 3 groups.

1 – They are still chasing fame and wanting to be cool instead of wanting serious relationships. They are blind right now.

(I’ve got a 23 year old guy friend who dated a 17 year old girl. They ended up breaking up cos he realized that the girl still wanna have fun and is not yet ready for a serious relationship)

2 – They know that the MNGs will still be around so they rather have their fill of fun first before finally turning to the MNGs.

(This is where the problems come up. MNGs starts thinking they will always forever finish last)

3 – They are just born to love only MBGs. They will never dig MNGs. If they do, it’s only for the fun of it.

(I’ve got a couple of girl friends who’s only interested in MBGs. Some may be dating MNGs but they’re two-timing them with MBGs)


Honestly, I doubt I will ever understand should there be MNGs who’s interested in the girls mentioned above. Maybe they are the “exceptions”. Well to each his own then.


Now I’m gonna admit something.


To all MNGs out there . . .

You may not know this, but the truth is that sometimes, girls like me do not approach you guys because, we are actually afraid that we can’t measure up to you. You guys seem too good to be true and we’re just afraid we’re not good enough. We do have inferior complex you know.

It’s not just the guys who worry that they might not be good enough for the girls.

We girls have the same worries too!

Sometimes things might be going fine for a guy and a girl. They might contemplate taking things up a notch, but could end up not doing so, or having one party backing away. This is because we are afraid that we might screw things up and end up losing you as a friend.

Well there are also other reasons as to why one party will back away but that is not the point of my entry today so don’t think about it. Concentrate on what I’m saying.

Thank you.

Hur hur.

Another situation is this.

MNG likes girl, and girl likes MNG. But MNG shows his interest by being nice, attentive and showering her with lots of care and concern. He does not tell her straight in the face of his interest.

At this point, the girl is actually wondering if MNG likes her. He is nice to her and stuff but she starts to wonder if that is just how he treats everyone. She is afraid to voice out her interest as she’s afraid it might be wrong and that she’ll be embarrassed. And the worst she expects is that the relationship between them will end up being weird and that they’ll stop talking.

So sometimes, you just gotta find out what exactly is the root of the problem and then can you set it right.

Honestly, it saddens us to see MNGs turn into MBGs. They starts smoking, clubbing incessantly, spewing profanities, having ONS, picking up girls everywhere they go.

Please don’t change who you are MNGs.

Not being able to get a girlfriend now or being rejected by almost every girl is not the end of the world. It is just that you have yet to meet the fabulous and fantastic girl who is for you. The angel is somewhere out there and she is definitely worth waiting for.

Maybe some of you guys might say that:

“Hey, I’ll just be a MBG and I’ll change back to being the MNG I am when I finally meet her.”


Ask yourself with pure honesty.

Will you really be able to change back after riding the high life?

Why change when it’s dead obvious that it is just not you and that you’re really uncomfortable with being who you are not?

I’ve seen guys who try to be bad-ass but failed miserably and it is so obvious that that is not in their blood.

I’ve made my point (a very long one) and hopefully, it provides a fresh perspective to you MNGs out there.

Remember.

There are girls out there (ME ME ME) who totally dig guys like you.


P.S. Obviously there are MNGs out there who are also half MBGs deep down. But I’m not including them. I’m only talking about the MNG of MNGs.





Tuesday, August 15, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Paris Hilton - Jealousy


I absolutely love the concept behind this song.
It's definitely something different.
And I totally adore the violin part.


I thought you were my best friend
I felt we'd be together till the end
You're not the girl I once knew
Tell me where she is cause she's not you

You used to be that shoulder
That shoulder I could lean on through it all
But now its getting colder
There's no love between these walls

(Chorus)
Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
It's such an evil thing to watch someone like you
Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Nobody wins when you're so full of envy

La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

I was always happy
When I was watching you become a star
But you were only happy
When the world was opening up my scars

And now I'm like the devil
Well if I am then what does that make you
You sold yourself for your fame
You'd still never walk a day in my shoes

(Chorus)

La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

(Spoken)
I only wanted what was best for you
Everything I did, I did because I cared
So how did all the good between us turned so bad
Maybe someday we'll get back what we had

(Chorus)

La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la




Monday, August 14, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Jessica Simpson - I Belong to Me


I'm hooked to this song.
Putting it on repeat and singing over and over.
I like the tune and the fact that I don't have to scream or exert too much energy when singing it.


Its not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
Its just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you

Its not that I don't want to have you in my life baby
Its just you gotta know that its got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

(Chorus)
I belong to me, I don't belong to you
My heart is my posession, I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me, I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me, you should know this baby
I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in baby
That who I am is not about who I am with baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you
I do

I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know I give all my love
But I'm not giving all my soul

(Chorus)

Oh yeah

Love don't mean changing who you are
To be who somebody wants you to be
Nobody's got to belong to nobody

(Chorus x2)





Saturday, August 12, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Day 1 - Fisherman's Wharf


Hey hey ~

Finally I'm done with the 2nd entry about my Taiwan trip. Haha.
I know I know. Took me long enough. The 1st post was 1 month ago!
Just got the complete set of photos from both cameras and just done with sorting out the load of photos.
And I gotta plan what to write and stuff.
BUSY!

I stopped at the moment after reaching Taiwan's airport and going off to the 1st destination on the itinerary.

The 1st destination we headed off to was Fisherman's Wharf (Yu Ren Ma Tuo in Chinese).



Well they say that it's the filming site of Meteor Garden, but being the ardent fan of that show, having watched every single episode, I can't seem to remember the place or scene.
Or maybe I just plain forgot about it. Cos after all, it's been so long that the show is over.


Oh well, it's kind of a fishy-haboury place. Lots of boats. And I mean LOTS of them.
And they've got some really funky looking and colorful boats!



Too bad it's drizzling when we reached. So the sky's not that bright and clear, and the breezy feeling is not there.
But that place is still really nice. Especially the bridge!




It's white . . .


and long . . .


and tall ! ! !


Valentine's Bridge (Qing Ren Qiao)






As you can see, that big mountain in the background. Taiwan has LOTS & LOTS of moutains and there's some places which are built on them!

I'll be having an entry on one of the places at a later date.

And here's a photo of my gramp looking rather cute!


After crossing the bridge, we came to this area which has a long stretch of cafes and shops.




Oh! The 7-11 in Taiwan uses sliding doors! So cute!



Anyway, was resting when we heard a little boy crying like crazy. Apparently he was running and didn't see this metal box. And WHAM! Hit his head into the bottom left edge of the box and has a hole in his head. And I do mean a hole.

He's bleeding rather seriously and his mum was pressing a cloth or something over the wound. Ambulance was dialed for and came really fast. Poor boy. And poor parents.

Just writing about it now raises all my goose bumps. Horrible.


Well moving on from horrible encounter to some unique sights of Taiwan!

We have our cables underground, while they have theirs up and above!


And to end this entry, a photo of my shoes being wet cos I accidently stepped into a puddle!

Not very obvious that it's wet. I know that. But it's MY shoes.

HAHA!





Thursday, August 10, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


If I could nickname everyone . . .



It will probably go like this . . .



Kerlyn - Nu Ren
(means woman in Chinese)

Farhana - Powerpuff
(i've been meaning to but i'm afraid she'll screw me)

Suriani - SuSu
(as everyone is calling her)

Mardiana - NaNa
(as everyone is calling her)

CS - Chancellor
(don't ask why. Chance for short will also do.)

Adrian - Baby
(a silly role-playing between us)

Tailon - Peanut
(when i think of him, this word just pops out.)

Brother - Monkey
(for a really obvious reason)

Lil' Brother - Pancake
(looks like one)

Wee Hiong - Pineapple
(its an internal joke started at Pizzahut)

Jie Yang - Wabbit
(internal joke too. and he's also rather cute like a rabbit. but you can't call a guy that can u?)



Well I guess the list can go on and on but right now that's all I can think of.

I would really love to call all my friends by the nicknames I thought for them cos I always find it more endearing to do so.
Just like how Cheryl calls her best friend "poop". You can only call people who is really close to your heart nicknames like this. It's really special.

I guess I sounds kind of air-head here huh?

Well whatever it is, go ahead and give me nicknames! But please be nice. Haha!




Tuesday, August 08, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Opps.


I've been rather busy for the past week or so, arranging stuff and meeting up with loads of people. And recently I've been catching up on lots of reading.

I've also been experiencing some emotions which I haven't felt for years. It actually feels kind of weird. Maybe because I haven't been in that ground for so long that treading into it now is a total stranger to me.

And as for right now, I'm trying my best to figure out some really important things but it doesn't seems to be going anywhere. But oh well, I'm sure I'll sort it out soon.

Oh well, we all gotta live with whatever circumstances or situations we're in. So the best we can do is to make the best outta it and enjoy whatever is going on.

Don't ask why is all these happening to you.
Instead, ask what can you learn outta all these.




Sunday, August 06, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


Super-Me.


I actually manage to accidently remove a piece of mirror which is taller and wider than me.

And so now my wardrobe has no mirror.

Real inconvenient but who can I blame?

Nobody.

It's my work. My masterpiece.



Friday, August 04, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


- blank -


Her feet keep getting stepped on.

She whispered to him and he said:
"Why don't you put your legs on my lap?"

She draped her legs over his lap, and he placed his hand on them.
As if to secure them in place or as an assurance that it'll be alright now.

Throughout the night, they sang and played.
Sharing drinks from the same glass.
She feeds him, and he feeds her.

This is how comfortable they are with each others.
Even in the presence of others.

But yet, they make better friends than lovers.




Tuesday, August 01, 2006
La vie est Belle <>


No compromising.


I'm usually quite an easy-going person.

Even in the event of not having receive my well-deserved pay for 4 weeks, I don't go about cursing or screaming at the people responsible for it. I kept quiet and let it be.

But when it comes to smokers, I will not be easy-going.

I will not hesitate to show my displeasure in front of them and have done so everytime. My brother often says that I'm being quite a bitch by doing so and that I'm not sparing any thoughts as to how they will feel.

Hmm...
Did they even thought about how we non-smokers will feel when they light that bud of theirs?


I don't think so.

So I don't see the need to be all nice and sweet to them.

And to reinforce my point . . .

Kill yourself if you must. Do not implicate others.





All about
: elise :

Jack (or is it Jane?) of all trades,
(almost!)

but Master of none.
(trying to!)

This is my paradise, where I indulge my senses grandiloquently.

A collective effort to keep family & friends updated, and for random strangers to pop by.

I wanted to put a HUGE picture of myself in this space, but being the technologically challenged person that I am, I can't figure out the mojo of it.

So I guess I'll just have to make do with scattering loads of random self-shots all over the blog!

: xoxo :


Hugs & Kisses
: xoxo :




Previous
: blabbers :


Gallery of
: memoirs :


Ending
: credits :

Inspired by:

JUICE & Undying Love


Edited by:

Yours Truly... Elise Tan



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