:: eLise is me ::: why ?

Friday, January 05, 2007

La vie est Belle <>

why ?

I can never fathom, which part of what I said, do you not comprehend.
If that's the decision you wanna make, then fine.
It's your choice. I can do nothing about it.

But just so you know, it's making me feel downright helpless.

It feels like someone pushed me down the pit, and there's no way I can get outta there.

It feels like someone punched me so hard, that my heart sank, and no matter how I puke to my heart's content, it's still at the bottom.

I can't remember when was the last time I felt this way.

Feeling so frustrated because of the complete helplessness, that I ended up crying, and feeling so exposed and vulnerable at the same time.

The biggest effect your decision has on me, is psychological.

It makes me feel so guilty that you choose to be miserable, while I'm not.

It makes me feel so bad about myself, to be happy, when you're not.

It makes me feel so selfish, to be moving on, when you're not.

It makes me feel like the worst piece of trash on earth.

I don't want to affect those around me, just because you make me feel this way.

And so the only thing I can do now, is to steer clear of you.
Until I can face your decision like it doesn't matter.
Until you can learn to let go.

Thanks to everyone who gave me virtual hugs.
Can't be too picky when you darlings are 3000 odd miles away. But I'm feeling so much better now.
And don't worry about me darlings. I'll be fine.
I'm a tough cookie.

*hugs*

All about

: elise :

Jack (or is it Jane?) of all trades,
(almost!)

but Master of none.
(trying to!)

This is my paradise, where I indulge my senses grandiloquently.

A collective effort to keep family & friends updated, and for random strangers to pop by.

I wanted to put a HUGE picture of myself in this space, but being the technologically challenged person that I am, I can't figure out the mojo of it.

So I guess I'll just have to make do with scattering loads of random self-shots all over the blog!

: xoxo :

Hugs & Kisses

: xoxo :

: blabbers :

Gallery of

: memoirs :

Ending

: credits :

Inspired by:

JUICE & Undying Love

Edited by:

Yours Truly... Elise Tan