:: eLise is me ::: Independent vs Cute.

Monday, December 19, 2005

La vie est Belle <>

Independent vs Cute.

THE BATTLE OF THE FEMALES

- Independent & Strong - vs ~ Cute & Vulnerable ~

Announcer X: "Representing the - Independent & Strong - here is Danielle! Standing at 5 feet 6 and weighing 48kg. Her style can be defined with high heels, dressy tops, snugging low-waist jeans and mini skirts! She goes clubbing and is good pal with her male counterparts."

Announcer Y: "And over here representing the ~ Cute & Vulnerable ~, we have Mimi! Standing at 5 feet 2 and weighing 42kg. Her style can be defined with sandals, t-shirts, skirts and backpack! She loves boybands and is shy when placed with being of the opposite sex."

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I hope that from the above description, you people can surmise the kind of girls I'm talking about here.

I'm writing out my thoughts on this issue here cos I'm so very sick and tired of what's happening around me.

Or perhaps it's the people I'm around with that's vexing the hell out of me. Argh!

Ok. Let me part the cloud here for confused audiences.

From my 19 years of life on Earth, I've learnt about 1 thing thus far. That guys like "sweet-innocent-cute-vulnerable" girls. Or maybe it's just the guys I'm hanging around with who have this same particular taste.

To them, "strong-independent" girl (like me), are too "tough" for them to handle.
And before you start laughing your head off and bear the possibility of being punched by me, you better read on.

These are what guys have told me:
"sometimes you have to show your vulnerable side"
"cute girl makes guys wanna protect them"
"you're too independent"
"be more gentle"

STOP! I don't feel like defending myself. I can only say that what you see of me on the outside is not what I really am in the inside. Only my close friends will know that.

I too am vulnerable and needs protection. I too wish for someone who I can fall on to when things comes crashing down on me. I too want to have someone to hide behind when I feel scare. I too hope to have someone who I can run crying to when people bully me.

But people don't seems to understand that.

I have to put up a strong front cos I'm the eldest and I'm supposed to set a good example for my brothers. I have to be independent cos it's my duty and responsibility and I can't forever depend on my parents. I have to be tough cos I know how cruel and horrible the real world is. I have to hide all my emotions as best as I could cos there are people out there who will make use of my emotions as my weak point and attack me.

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST my friends!

I don't enjoy putting up a cold front. I don't enjoy biting back to people when they attack me. I don't enjoy being sarcastic. I don't enjoy being angry. I don't enjoy having to keep my anger in check and having to hold back my tears.

I want to throw tantrums as and when I like. I want to scream out loud as often as I like. I want to grin like a silly little girl whenever I'm happy. I want to hug everyone I see, to chase away their blues and fears.

That is really who I am.

I like to spend some quality and quiet time with myself by reading a book or staring into space. I like to sing out loud and dance around. I like to make small gifts for my peeps. I like to look at cookbooks and create those dishes. I like to draw and paint. I like to do grocery shopping. I like to cross stich. I like to tidy things up.

I'm actually that simple.

But until then, I can only continue to be who I am and to wait patiently for that someone who will appreciate "strong-independent" girl, to finally appear in my life.

*a big smile & a big hug*

All about

: elise :

Jack (or is it Jane?) of all trades,
(almost!)

but Master of none.
(trying to!)

This is my paradise, where I indulge my senses grandiloquently.

A collective effort to keep family & friends updated, and for random strangers to pop by.

I wanted to put a HUGE picture of myself in this space, but being the technologically challenged person that I am, I can't figure out the mojo of it.

So I guess I'll just have to make do with scattering loads of random self-shots all over the blog!

: xoxo :

Hugs & Kisses

: xoxo :

: blabbers :

Gallery of

: memoirs :

Ending

: credits :

Inspired by:

JUICE & Undying Love

Edited by:

Yours Truly... Elise Tan