:: eLise is me ::: Choice

Thursday, September 28, 2006

La vie est Belle <>

Choice

"We can't choose"

You're right.
We can't choose when it concerns our heart.

But we can choose when it concerns our mind.

The age old dilemma of listening to which.
The heart or the mind?

I cannot control my heart from making the decision it makes.

But I can control my mind to overrule the heart.
To overwrite the heart's decision.

And yet, am I able to do it?

My heart tells me to let it all out.
But my mind says otherwise.

It is so easy to tell you the truth.
But the truth is, can we handle it in the end?

I was so afraid.
I was trembling, and my heart was palpitating.

I was so close to telling you everything.

My heart says to follow my feeling and to do what's right.
So that I will not live to regret in future.
To regret over not giving a chance.
To regret over not trying.

My mind says to follow my rationale and to do what's right.
So that I will not mess things up.
To destroy what is ever so fragile.
To expose all of myself to you.

I have been vulnerable enough in front of you.
I have never ever open up myself this much to anyone.

I've always been the tough cookie.
Defensive, independent, sarcastic, couldn't-care-less, dry-as-sandpaper.

It's been this way for years.
And it's frightening to think of having to give up my fortress of shield which I built up painstakingly over the years.

I can never read your mind.
I can never guess what you're thinking of.
I can never slip into your heart and mind.
Cos I am not you afterall.

By telling the truth, I am opening myself to hurt.
Disappointment, rejection, failure, rubble.

The courageous Elise will fight for what's right and to live life with no regrets.

The cowardly Elise will rather overrule her heart to protect what there is, than to risk destroying it all.

I am still learning to tame the cowardly me, and to free the courageous one.
I am still learning.

So perhaps I shall just be the cowardly me for now, and to hide the truth from you.
Till the day I learn to set free the courageous me.

Maybe then I'll let you know.

Maybe . . .

And yet,
it could be too late.

Love,
like you've never been hurt.

How easy it sounds, but how hard indeed to do.

All about

: elise :

Jack (or is it Jane?) of all trades,
(almost!)

but Master of none.
(trying to!)

This is my paradise, where I indulge my senses grandiloquently.

A collective effort to keep family & friends updated, and for random strangers to pop by.

I wanted to put a HUGE picture of myself in this space, but being the technologically challenged person that I am, I can't figure out the mojo of it.

So I guess I'll just have to make do with scattering loads of random self-shots all over the blog!

: xoxo :

Hugs & Kisses

: xoxo :

: blabbers :

Gallery of

: memoirs :

Ending

: credits :

Inspired by:

JUICE & Undying Love

Edited by:

Yours Truly... Elise Tan